Conversation guide
Pause the discussion when voices rise
A pause is useful only when it reduces escalation and does not trap someone in a threatening situation. Keep the sentence short, stop debating the original issue and state whether you will return at a specific time or seek support first.
When this conversation usually comes up
- Voices rise and neither partner can finish a sentence.
- Shouting includes insults, threats, blocking a doorway or breaking objects.
- A pause is treated as permission to follow someone from room to room.
Before you begin
- Choose a short phrase you can use without explaining the whole issue.
- Identify a place you can move to safely and a person you can contact.
- Do not promise a private follow-up if you believe returning to the conversation would be unsafe.
Choose a time when you can speak privately and neither person needs to leave immediately. The purpose is to understand the issue and agree on a next step, not to prove which person is entirely right.
Two ways to open the conversation
“Hum dono ki awaaz unchi ho rahi hai. Main bees minute ka break lena chahti hoon aur phir nau baje baat continue kar sakte hain.”
“Main shouting ke saath yeh conversation continue nahi karungi. Main ab yahan se ja rahi hoon. Mere peeche mat aao.”
Change the wording to match your usual level of formality. Keep the event and request intact so the point does not disappear behind softer language.
If the conversation gets stuck
If you hear: “Abhi baat khatam karo.”
You could continue: “Main abhi safely baat nahi kar sakti. Main pause le rahi hoon.”
If you hear: “Bahar gayi to dekh lena.”
You could continue: “A threat changes this from a communication problem to a safety concern. Move toward safety and contact trusted or emergency support when possible.”
What progress can look like
- A timed pause is respected without pursuit or punishment.
- The discussion resumes only when both people can speak without intimidation.
- Threats, blocked exits or physical aggression lead to a safety response rather than another script.
Practise the words in your own voice
Tell DilSe what happened, who you need to speak with and what you want the conversation to change.
Start a conversation