Conversation guide
Agree what stays private on WhatsApp and social media
Couples may have different ideas about what can be posted, forwarded or discussed online. Agree on the behaviour that needs consent, rather than using access to every account as the only measure of trust.
When this conversation usually comes up
- A photo or private update is posted without permission.
- Messages are forwarded to a family group during a disagreement.
- Partners disagree about online friendships, comments or public relationship posts.
Before you begin
- Name the exact post, message or interaction instead of judging all online activity.
- Separate public posting, private messaging and account access.
- Propose a consent rule that applies equally to both partners.
Choose a time when you can speak privately and neither person needs to leave immediately. The purpose is to understand the issue and agree on a next step, not to prove which person is entirely right.
Two ways to open the conversation
“Meri photo ya personal update post karne se pehle main chahti hoon ke hum ek doosre se poochhein. Kya yeh rule hum dono ke liye rakh sakte hain?”
“Hamari private chat family group mein forward hui. Main is par razi nahi thi. Ab se private messages consent ke baghair forward na hon.”
Change the wording to match your usual level of formality. Keep the event and request intact so the point does not disappear behind softer language.
If the conversation gets stuck
If you hear: “Social media ko itna serious kyun leti ho?”
You could continue: “Post online reh sakti hai aur doosre log share kar sakte hain. Is liye consent mere liye serious hai.”
If you hear: “Password do phir trust hoga.”
You could continue: “Main concern discuss karungi, lekin passwords aur specific behaviour do alag questions hain.”
What progress can look like
- Both partners ask before posting personal information or images.
- Private messages are not forwarded without consent.
- Online concerns are raised using a specific example rather than constant monitoring.
Practise the words in your own voice
Tell DilSe what happened, who you need to speak with and what you want the conversation to change.
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